Chubster 2 point 0
by evenflo78
Summary: Conformity? 300 bucks, sweat, tears & more. Rediscovering yourself, strawberries, play-doh, & yum? Priceless. My entry to the FML Contest.


**FML Contest**

**Title: **Chubster 2.0

**Penname:** evenflo78

**Characters: **Edward, Bella, Rosalie, Esme.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters; they belong to Stephenie Meyer.

**Beta'd by: ****Krismom, **I couldn't have done this without her handy-dandy red pen, fantastic support and encouraging words. Any remaining mistakes are all my own. **Smfogleman**, pre-read and was my comma Nazi.

**Special shout-out: ****Missus T & Smfogleman** You ladies rock my world. This little ditty wouldn't exist without you two. Thousands of hugs and kisses.

**Word count 9,990 not counting A/N's or the prompt.**

**Prompt is at the bottom, but don't cheat and skip down. I'll be watching you. **

**Hope you read, enjoy and review!!!**

**~*~*~*~**

**~Edward ~**

I made my way through the terminal to board the flight home. My first time home in a little over a year, a large part of me was dreading it. I missed my family, but I was bored with small towns and all the drama's that came along with them. _Ms. So & So_ said that, _Mr. So & So_ heard this, it was all bullshit.

Growing up the geeky, fat kid, who was teased and made fun of on a daily basis, was not something you got over quickly. Even nearly two years after graduating high school, I still hadn't let it go. At least I could admit it though, right?

I was a completely new man. The timid, klutzy, guy voted _most likely to cheat off of in class_ was gone. He was replaced with a calm, cool, collected and smooth mother fucker that was also sexy as hell and a fucking chick magnet.

I had grown out of my awkward pubescent stage. The pimple-faced, squeaky-voiced, can't talk to a girl, much less date one, tool had received an upgrade. I was Edward Cullen 2.0. The ladies swooned, the boys hated, and everyone wished they could be me, or be _WITH _me.

All the way up through high school, I had never had a girlfriend. Though even into my second year of college, I still hadn't managed to have a steady girlfriend. However, nowadays I was never left wanting.

The petite, pretty blonde that was hoisting her luggage into the overhead only proved my point further. The glances over the shoulder, the way her hips jutted out just so, accentuating the curve of her ass and the smallness of her waist, her body was calling to me because it wanted me. She wanted me, as they all did.

I noted the seat she was in and checked my ticket. Unfortunately, she would not get the opportunity to sit next to me for the flight, so I winked to her with a twitch of my lips as I passed, earning the satisfaction of watching the color flood her cheeks with slight embarrassment. I had no doubt that she would palm me her number once we landed.

I found my seat and squeezed my lean body between my two companions. I sneered at the thought of sitting between the little old lady knitting away at who knows what and the only man in the world that seemed to snore while he was awake.

I didn't carry on anything, so I tucked myself between the two, slipped out my IPod and plugged the buds into my ears. I couldn't handle the clinking of the needles or the heavy breathing for the entire flight, no fucking way.

The time gods were on my side and we were landing before I knew it. The tiny blonde's flirty glances and attempts at seductive leers had kept me entertained for the flight.

Slipping past her in the aisle, I wasn't surprised when she reached for my hand. I crumpled the paper between my fingers and gave her a smoldering look that told her I would be calling her, before turning to take my leave. The tips of her fingers dancing off of mine in the most gentle yet playful way.

My mother, Esme, half tackled me as I made my way to baggage claim, where she and Rose were waiting. I wrapped my arms lovingly around my mother's tiny frame and laughed over the top of her head. Her gleeful squeals and welcome homes were muffled by my chest in which her face was buried.

"Rosalie." I said by way of greeting to my younger sister who was sneering in my direction as if to say, _I have better places and more important things to do with my time._

"Chubster." She taunted, crossing her arms, shifting her weight to one foot and lifting an eyebrow to me daringly.

I immediately frowned. She knew I hated that. Not only that, but I was no longer THAT guy. _Bitch_, I glared at her biting my tongue for the moment, purely out of respect for my mother. Rosalie would get hers. I would make sure of it.

The luggage belt dwindled down slowly, piece by piece and I kept watching, even though no more bags had fallen from the chute. MY suitcase was nowhere to be found. I resisted the urge to climb onto the belt and yell down the chute childishly for them to give me my shit.

"Fuck." I muttered under my breath when the last bag was claimed. Esme smacked the back of my head and I smiled at her apologetically and made my way to report my missing luggage.

The fiery red-head, twirling her gum around and around her finger and gabbing on the phone, straightened up and spoke low and quick into the receiver as I approached. The glint in her eyes informed me, she was most definitely interested in anything and everything I would have to say.

I smiled easily at the pretty young girl and leaned against the counter casually. _Kill them with kindness_, I thought to myself, though I didn't have any real hopes that would find my luggage faster. But it would possibly make her more eager to do things for me if she thought she had a chance.

I knew she didn't as soon as her mouth opened and the annoying shriek of what should have been a voice came from her throat. She was cooperative and took all of my information and informed me the airline would get back with me as soon as they located the bag.

"Why don't you two drop me at the house and I'll start dinner." Esme said as we reached the car. "Edward, you and Rosalie can head over to the mall. I know you will need new clothes."

"Mom." Rosalie whined from the back. "I don't want to go with Edward."

"Now, Rose. I won't have you two fighting all week. Edward is giving up his spring break so that he can spend time with his family." She smiled sweetly and gently squeezed my hand. "You go help your brother find some nice things."

I rolled my eyes biting my tongue, yet again. I was perfectly capable of shopping for myself, nowadays. That didn't used to be the case. I read magazines to stay up to date on fashion, not that it really mattered. I looked good in jeans and a T-shirt. Although, I did prefer name brand items for the sake of saving face and making impressions.

Girls noticed that shit. And since they noticed me, now I did too.

"Fine." Rosalie huffed and crossed her arms. "Not that it matters what I say. Edward is nothing but a poser. He wears the same shit as everyone else."

"Rosalie!" Esme gasped.

"It's true. He's nothing but a conformist." She turned to look at me then. "You'll always be the chubster to me though, not matter how many layers of name brand clothing you hide under."

"Whatever." I responded crossing my arms and watching the trees pass us. _Was everything always this green?_

"Chubster, chubster, chubster, chubster." Rosalie sang from the back, poking me in the ribs with every word.

"I'm. Not. A. Chubster." I seethed through clenched teeth.

"Children." Esme chided as she pulled into the drive. "Be careful you two and behave. Edward, do you have enough money?"

I nodded, though truthfully I only had $300 left to my name. I wasn't going to tell my mom I had spent the rest of my student loan on nonsense. I was grown and in college. I didn't need mommy and daddy's money anymore. I had too much pride for that.

Mom got out of the car and I made my way to the driver's seat as Rosalie hopped into the front, not bothering to get out of the car.

We rode in silence, thank fuck. Rosalie had an exceptional knack for grating on my last nerve and getting underneath my skin with very few words. Matter of fact, riding in the silent car with her was irking me.

We pulled up to the local mall and it seemed as if it had gotten even smaller than it was a few years ago. Small town malls were pathetically boring and seriously lacking in up-to-date fashion shops.

I knew there was an _American Eagle,_ but I didn't have enough money to shop only there and I was pleased when Rose informed me that a _Hollister _had opened up a few months prior. She snorted at my choice of shops and went her own way as we entered the poor-mans mall. I promised to call when I was finished and she rolled her eyes as if to say _fuck-off_.

I entered _Hollister _and thirty minutes later I had spent half of my $300 budget and received two new phone numbers from two very attractive, very flirty twins. I was one lucky SOB. I could have had a third number but unfortunately for the young, dark haired male, I was very much straight.

I passed Rosalie who was flirting shamelessly with a beast of a boy working behind the _TCBY_ counter. She snarled at me but kept her mouth shut, for once.

I made my way through the tiny sorry excuse for a mall and into the _American Eagle_. It was an outlet store, so I was hopeful that I could get a few items at a lesser cost. I had to stretch my tiny budget as far as it would go.

As soon as I walked into the fluorescent lit department store I saw her. I stopped breathing. She still had the ability to do that it seemed.

Her head was thrown back in a fit of laughter mimicking the posture of her co-worker. Her hair, at least to her waist now, was still that beautiful shade of brown with hints of red and waves you just yearned to run your fingers through. She still took my breath away.

My feet urged me towards her without any conscious effort of my own until I was standing in front of the counter facing her and her companion.

"Bella?" I questioned in a voice so low and seductive it almost didn't sound like my own. I knew it was her; every cell in my body was alive with the knowledge that she was mere feet from me.

"Edward?" Her eyes narrowed and then widened at the sight of me. I was once again lost in the depths of them. "Edward!" She squealed as she bounded over the counter and into my arms. "It _IS _you. What are you doing here? How have you been?"

The warmth from her body and the fact that she was in my arms once again, stunned me into silence for a moment, but I quickly recovered. "You look well, Bella." I tightened my hold on her and tried to ignore the reaction my body had to her.

She smelled the same. Strawberries, play-doh, and yum. I inhaled deeply, relishing the nostalgic feeling.

"Me?" She scoffed. "Look at you. I can put my arms around you." She squeezed my arms and ran her hands over my chest and stomach. "You look amazing. Check you out, all chiseled like a sculpture. HOT!" She blushed and stepped back.

I had forced my body not to respond to her gentle touch but I couldn't help but to feel the swell of pride at her comments. She was the one I could never have, the one I always wanted, quite possibly the one I still wanted to this day, and now it was a possibility. I was closer to being in her league than I had ever dreamed of being.

_I could totally tap that now!_

"It wasn't without a lot of blood, sweat and tears. Not to mention a lot of HARD work." I gazed down at the petite brunette and gave her my best smoldering look. A quirk of the brow, a slant of the lips, and my best panty dropping tone, and I had instantaneous results.

I almost bounced around clapping my hands like a complete idiot, when the blush crept up on her cheeks and she averted her eyes from my stare. I knew I had her.

Bella, the one I had wanted all through grade school, all through high school, was finally within my reach and I was in a place, physically at least, to be her equal. _Score one for EC 2.0 mother fucker_.

"Well, you look good Cullen." She smiled lightly before patting my arm and continuing. "Now, did you need help finding something or did you just come in to gloat about your new hot bod?"

"Yes, I need a little of everything it seems. The airline lost my luggage."

"Fantastic." She blurted and then covered her mouth. "I mean…well, sorry they lost your bags, but I can help you find some things." She laughed. "Come on." Her tiny hand wrapped around my arm and she tugged me in the direction of the men's clothing.

She stood back and gave me an appraising look, her finger tapping thoughtfully on her chin. I tried not to show too much emotion on my face when I saw her eyes glaze over slightly taking in my new '_hot bod'_ as she had so eloquently put it. But I was all _fist-pumps_ and _yes, yes, yes_ on the inside, remaining cool as a cucumber on the outside.

She was totally checking me out.

I took advantage of a few opportunities she had given me to brush up against her, push her hair from her eyes, or touch her gently. Feeding her obviously growing desire to find out exactly HOW much my body had changed.

She tossed me arm full's of clothing and urged me into the dressing room and I fell against the wall releasing the breath I was holding. Mother fuck, I was a teenager all over again. Though I was twenty now, she took me back to the days when I couldn't be in the same room with a girl much less hold a conversation.

Sighing heavily I tore the shirt over my head, undid the buttons of my jeans and began tugging them down just as the door to the dressing room swung open. I stood upright, startled by the intrusion which caused my pants to fall down the remainder of the way.

At least I had worn underwear.

Bella stood there with her mouth agape for a moment before recovering. "Fuck me. I mean…shit, I'm sorry. Here." She passed me a coat not meeting my eyes and I smiled knowingly at her. I was ecstatic that I seemed to be having an effect on her. "Immonnago." She mumbled shutting the door behind her.

I laughed lightly to myself as I heard her mutter a few more curse words to as she fled the dressing rooms. That shit was in the bag. But could I really do it? To Bella?

She was the only girl that didn't look at me as if I were a biohazard. We were friends. Though I had always had a crush on her and wanted her to be mine in every sense of the word. I had never come right out and told her that, of course, partially for fear of rejection but also because she always seemed to have some other guy hanging off her that was laying his claim.

We had a history. Even if it may have been just as friends, it was there. Could I treat her just as detached as I did every other girl? With Bella, I wasn't sure I would be capable of that. The competitive part of me wanted the challenge though.

I made my way out of the dressing room and had several items ready for purchase. I wasn't sure what I wanted from Bella, but I at least wanted the chance for…something.

"So…" I started as I leaned over the counter, my best seductive smirk firmly in place. "What time do you get off?"

"Ummm…inna." She stuttered. I had totally made her swoon. _Fist-pumps_ and _yes, yes, yes_. She tried again with a small smile playing on the edge of her lips. "In about four hours. We should catch up." Her voice was cool, calm and collected. Just like the old Bella, she recovered quickly.

"My thoughts exactly." I purred. "Dinner?" She nodded in agreement and I reached for her phone resting on the counter, programmed my number and pressed it into her palm, letting my fingers linger for a moment and relishing in the noticeable shudder that went through her body. "Call me."

With a snicker, a nod, and rosy cheeks she answered. "Yeah, ok."

"CHUBSTER. There you are." Rosalie's annoying cackle broke through my seductive façade, and I turned to glare at my intrusion. "Oh, hi Bell-uh." She said it as if it were a swear word. "I'm ready to go."

"Bella." I turned to face her and took her hand in mine. "I look forward to this evening." I raised her hand and pressed my lips to the smooth skin holding her eyes with mine, confident that her labored breathing was a sure sign of her arousal. I sniffed.

Strawberries, Play-doh, and yum.

"Oh, god. Puh-lease." Rosalie scoffed, sighing dramatically and gripping my arm. _Bitch_. "Come, the fuck on, Chubster."

I cringed but waved to Bella over my shoulder, choosing to take my leave while I was ahead. With Rose there I'd be a lot more likely to make a fool out of myself. She had a tendency to bring the worst out in me. I wanted to leave Bella…wanting. I was pretty sure I had excelled with flying colors when she skipped back to the counter mouthing '_Oh. My. God.'_ To her co-worker.

"Still drooling over Bella Swan, I see." Rosalie said a little louder than necessary, clearly trying to get a rise out of me.

"Shut it, Rose." I spat, gripping her arm and tugging her behind me.

"You're still the same guy you know. Chubster. It doesn't matter how much weight you lost. You will always be just a friend to Bella."

"Can it, Rosalie." _Gah, she's infuriating_.

"Oh. My. God. You are such a poser, Edward. Seriously, what the hell happened to you?" She walked backwards, looking at me with that face. The one that could drive me insane it was so annoying.

"Watch your mouth." I was trying to keep my cool, but she was slowly but surely chipping away at it.

I tossed my bags in the back of the car and Rosalie slammed the passenger door shut with a huff. "I'm not a child." The petulant tone she had only made the statement funny.

"Well, stop acting like one then." I started the car and pulled out of the parking lot before she spoke again.

"You're the one acting like a child." I laughed at that but she continued. "At least when you were _FAT _you had a personality of your own. Now, you're just a conforming drone, like the rest of the bastards."

"I'm not even going to comment on that." I bit my tongue, literally, trying to keep from saying things that I would later regret to my sister.

She crossed her arms and was silent for the remainder of the ride home, but the expression on her face had me worried. She looked quite literally like the cat that ate the canary.

That face was not a good one. She was up to something, I just knew it. What, I hadn't a clue. There was no way she had good intentions with the little devil smirk she was sporting the entire way home. I just hoped I wasn't going to be the ass end of whatever fuckery she came up with. But even I wasn't that naïve. I had to be on my guard.

We pulled up to the house, and Rose went inside without a word. I assumed she was still deep into her master plan to fuck with her big brother as per usual. _Fuck my life._

I grabbed my bags and made my way into the kitchen where Esme was.

"Did you get everything you needed dear?" She was pulling cookies out of the oven. No wonder I was such a tubby bastard when I lived at home

"I did. Would you mind washing these for me? I need to go for a run." I held the bags up.

"Sure dear. Do you want some cookies before you go?"

"No. Mom, I don't eat that stuff anymore. No empty calories." Fucking cookies always smelled so good. _Fucking cookies._

"Oh, sorry dear. You just look so skinny. I worry you don't eat enough." The crease between her eyebrows appeared and I sighed heavily.

"I eat just fine Mom. I just don't eat junk anymore. I'm going to put these in the laundry and go for a run, but I need something to wear tonight."

"He THINKS he has a date tonight with Bell-uh." Rosalie interrupted.

"Oh!" Esme squealed and it looked as if she was trying to keep from bouncing around and clapping excitedly. That was my Mom. "That's lovely. I always loved Bella."

"It's not a date, Mom. We're just going to catch up." And get better acquainted physically, if I had any say so.

"Don't let him fool you, Mom. He was drooling all over her earlier today. He's still got it bad." Fucking Rosalie. I glared at her and left the room.

It had taken me almost sixteen years to figure out that ignoring Rosalie was just about the only way to get her off my back. She fucking loved attention, even if it was bad. I tossed the bags on the counter by the washer, confident that Esme would take care of my things before I needed them later and made my way to my room.

I didn't even think about getting something to work-out in, so I rummaged through the dressers and found the smallest pair of sweats I could (which were still three sizes too big), slipped them on and tightened the drawstring as much as I could. I had a few hoodies and even though they now swallowed me whole, it would just have to work. I hadn't missed my daily run in nearly two years.

One look in the mirror was a huge reminder of exactly how much weight I had lost. The clothes devoured my now lean frame, not to mention I would never be caught dead wearing something like this anymore. But I had no other options. Fucking _New Kids in the Block_ sweatshirt.

I pulled the hood over my head hoping no one would recognize me that way and was out the door.

When I was younger, the most I managed to run was chasing my brat of a sister around because she stole something of mine or put kool-aid in my shower or some other trickery that she had up her sleeve. I don't know how many days I was forced to go to school with oddly colored hair and tainted skin. The girl was Pandora reincarnate.

These days, though, I found running was like a stress reliever. It was time to myself. There was nothing but me, the road, and the wind whistling in my ears. It was my form of meditation and took me out of the stresses of my studies amongst other things.

The fact that I had reinvented myself, so to speak, only seemed to bring out a whole new set of worries. Whereas before I didn't have to worry too much about remembering girls names because I was shocked as shit if they new my name. Now, there were so many girls' that I was surprised I didn't need a journal with pictures to keep them all straight.

Which brought on another thing to stress about. I never wanted to be a dick, but it seemed as if that was what I had become. There were times when I wished things could be as simple as they were before. Keeping up the façade wasn't as easy as I made it look. There were definitely days when I wished I could just sink back and blend in with the crowd, going unnoticed.

I wasn't sure that I wanted that all the time. No, I definitely didn't want that all the time. But at times it would have been nice.

I couldn't stop my thoughts from running back to Bella. I wondered why she was working at a department store in the mall. The last I had seen of her was just after graduation and she had plans to go to college. She was always a bright girl. Books-wise anyway; with boys that was a whole other ball of wax.

Bella had a tendency to go for the tools that wanted nothing but to use her innocence and genuinely trusting personality. She was always beautiful and intelligent but she could be naïve as shit when it came to people abusing her trust and her ever present forgiveness.

She never could stay mad at anyone. I envied her that. Maybe I wouldn't feel so bad about going out with her tonight knowing I was only trying to prove something to myself.

The fact that she teased me all through high school was not helping her case. Spending the night with me on numerous occasions wearing teensy PJ's that could have given my overweight-teenage self a heart attack, but offering nothing more than friendship was enough to drive me insane.

I had wanted her for so long and it seemed as though the table was turned and I was now in a place where I could tease her. The power was overwhelmingly exhilarating. And it wasn't something I could shake no matter how much of a history Bella and I had.

I was about forty minutes into my one hour run when my phone rang. I checked the ID and it was my Mom so I answered it even though I was pretty close to being out of air.

"Honey, where did you put your clothes? I can't find them to wash them." Esme said by way of greeting.

"I put them on the table beside the washer. They should be there." The only thing running through my mind was my wretched little sister and her devious plans. I turned around and started running back to the house.

"Well, I don't see them but I'll keep looking."

"I'm on my way." I replied and hung up.

I wasn't sure what my sister was trying to pull but I was pretty positive that it was something. When I arrived back at the house I yelled at the top of my lungs and she cam trotting down the stairs smiling. I fucking knew it.

"What did you do with my clothes?" I snarled.

"Me!?" She gasped and put a hand over her heart. _Liar._ "I have no idea what you're talking about." She shoved her way passed me and walked into the kitchen grabbing a cookie from the counter before turning back to me. "Really, I haven't seen your clothes. Stop hovering."

"I will get to the bottom of whatever you have planned, Rosalie." I walked off in search of my clothes.

She was too smart to hide them in her room and knowing her she was cocky enough to hide them in my room, so I started there.

After almost two hours of turning the house all but upside down I hadn't found so much as the bags that held my purchases. Rosalie kept to herself, whether from guilt or fear, I didn't know, but I was glad she did. If I had seen her face I would have likely slapped the smug grin off of it.

My phone rang interrupting my stomping through the house and I had to calm myself before answering. It was Bella.

"Hello, Bella."

"Hey, Edward. You still want to get together tonight?" I could hear the smile in her voice and it made me smile even though all I really wanted to do was stomp my feet and scream at the top of my lungs.

"I'd love to. We could meet at the diner. How's that sound?"

"Sounds great." She squeaked. "How about an hour. I could pick you up." She cleared her throat. It was a nervous condition that she apparently still had, and it made me insanely happy that I was the one making her nervous.

"That would be great. I'm looking forward to it." I was pleased with how much I could get my voice to deepen and pleased to hear her nervous chuckle in the receiver before she said goodbye and hung up.

I ran up the stairs taking three at a time and began slinging clothes out of my closet. I had officially emptied the bastard when I realized there was absolutely nothing in my closet that would fit me. That left me with two options for what I would wear.

One, I could wear Esme's or Rosalie's clothes which would happen the day that hell froze over. Two, I could wear some of my old clothes and look like a complete hobo since they would swallow me entirely. Neither one of those options left me feeling hopeful that the night would go the way I wanted it to.

What was the saying? _The clothes don't make the man_. Something like that. Well, I was having serious doubts that statement was true.

I gave up my pouting for a minute and went to take a shower. I washed away the worry and sweat and dried off with a newfound determination. Wrapping the towel around my waist, I wiped the steam from the mirror and began fixing my hair.

I wasn't going to let this set back ruin my night, and if I had to wear my fat clothes then, I had to wear them. If Rosalie had done something it would piss her off if I didn't react and didn't let it bother me. Though I was seething on the inside, she didn't need to know that. I wouldn't give her the pleasure.

"You're an asshole." Rosalie screeched as she pounded on the bathroom door relentlessly.

"Watch your mouth. Young ladies shouldn't speak with such a nasty tongue." I chided as I took one final glance in the mirror. I couldn't seem to get that last piece of hair in the right place.

"Really, Edward? Who the hell talks like that anymore? What are you a hundred and nine? Shit, act your age." Her voice was muffled through the wooden door but her foot tapped persistently on the boards beneath, grating on my last nerve. "Come on, I need to piss."

"Rosalie!" I sighed. "You're so crass. I'm going to get Mom to wash your mouth out with soap if you're not careful."

She laughed indignantly as she spoke. "You might be Mom's favorite but I'm definitely Dad's. Now, if you really want to play hard ball, I could always tell Dad about your secret stash of titty mags that are hidden under your floorboards. What say you, mama's boy?"

Gah, she was infuriating.

I swung open the bathroom door, seething, only to be laughed in the face, yet again, by my totally bratty, pain in the you know what, little sister.

"Why are you laughing?" I said through clenched teeth. She pointed to my hair and I narrowed my eyes.

"You're such a poser, Edward. What's with the hair?" She said as she proceeded to pull her pants down and sit on the toilet.

I turned away, giving her privacy. My sister really had no tact whatsoever. "It's the new style." I said as I ran my fingers through the sides of my hair, twisting it a bit on the ends.

Her bellowing laugh echoed through the hall and I turned to glare at her as she flushed the toilet. "Who do you think you're kidding, Edward? Or should I call you Rob? Everyone can see that you're trying to pull off RPattz's sex hairdo."

"What the hell do you know about sex hair, Rosalie?"

"Jeez, Eddie boy. Join the twenty-first century, would you? It's kind of nice. We say wordy dirds and sometimes we sin." She said in mock astonishment as she covered her mouth dramatically.

"You drive me insane." I replied curtly as I stepped around her and headed to my room. "I will massacre you if I find out you did something to jeopardize my night with Bella."

"Whatever!" She scoffed. "Seriously Edward, how many pairs of khakis can one man-child own?"

"You're the child."

"Says the boy who has to get Mommy to wash his dirty clothes. For real though, do you think one of these days you might quit conforming and dress yourself for a change?"

"Says the girl dressed from head to toe in Gucci."

"This is not Gucci, its Prada." She scoffed as if it should be completely obvious. "And this…is art." She finished by sticking her nose in the air.

"Look, whatever. I've got to get ready. Get out of my way."

"You know what they say Chubster? The clothes make the man." Rosalie taunted.

"No they don't. I don't need new clothes to show Bella how much I have changed."

"We shall see." She sang as she took her leave, glancing over her shoulder at me daringly. Fucking bitch's name was written all over my missing clothes.

I walked into the room and looked at my bed covered in unfashionable clothing and sighed loudly. My dad's clothes would be no better; he was just as chubby as I used to be. Although, he did at least have some slacks.

I trotted to my parents' room and found a pair of gray slacks, thanking the gods once again that my dad had found the sense to buy some without pleats. It was bad enough that they would be huge. If I had to deal with pleats too, I may as well just shoot myself in the head.

After sifting through the slew of sweatshirts and horrible flannel on my bed, I found one button up shirt that was not completely hideous. It was still ridiculously ugly and the short sleeves came down to my forearms. I looked like a clown.

I decided that boxers were a lost cause. There was no way I could wear my old ones and I sure as shit wasn't going to put the stinky, sweaty ones back on. I just hoped that the belt held up or I'd be flashing the goods to anyone within a five mile radius with my white ass.

A knock on the door startled me and I raced down the stairs trying to get there before my sister or Mom did. Of course, luck was far from on my side today, and Mom answered the door.

After a bout of ear burning squeals and hello's Mom and Bella had officially become best friends. It was fucking weird how much everyone loved her.

Bella caught my eye, and I moved to step around Rose and greet her, but something caught my foot, and I was sent flying face first into the table. Luckily Bella had quick hands, and she caught me mid-air with both arms.

Strawberries, Play-doh, and yum.

I barely registered the fact that my nose was buried in her amazingly soft cleavage before my feet found steady ground, and I stood erect. In more ways than one. Definitely a positive to gigantic pants, he was safely tucked away beneath the yards of extra cloth.

"Where are your clothes?" Bella asked finally breaking the awkward silence.

"I have no idea." I answered through clenched teeth and stared straight at Rosalie.

She held her hands up in the air as she spoke. "Don't look at me. I didn't do nothing."

"You didn't do nothing? Who taught you English?" I teased, and she stomped off. "We'll be back early," I said to mom who was just staring at Bella as if she was so proud that she was here.

I shook my head not wanting to think about what was going through Esme's head at that particular moment. I could almost see her planning the wedding in that little twinkle in her eyes.

"Oh, honey. You guys have a good time. We won't wait up, so take your time." Yes, she was definitely planning the wedding.

I rolled my eyes and hooked my arm through Bella's, shocking her as I spoke in her ear. "Shall we."

Bella nodded with a little giggle that I may have found childish on anyone else, but coming from her it was sort of endearing and flattering.

We got in the car, and I about peed my pants laughing so hard. She was listening to _New Kids on the_ _Block_. We sang along with The Right Stuff for the entire ride, laughing like maniacs.

"Oh, my god. My stomach hurts so bad." Bella said as she palmed her stomach and tried to get out of the car, almost forgetting her seatbelt in the process.

We stumbled inside still laughing every time we would look at each other. I had to move cautiously because my belt was not holding up as well as I hoped it might.

After we were seated, the waitress came over and gave me the eye. I ordered a grilled chicken salad, no cheese, no croutons, and Bella ordered a steak and baked potato with fried ravioli as an appetizer. By the time the appetizer arrived our earlier fit of laughter had died down.

"You want some?" She asked holding out a bite.

"No, I can't eat that," I said as if she should already know this.

"Why not?" She asked. Maybe she was clueless.

"Well, for starters…I didn't get like this," I gestured to my new body. "By eating that," I nodded to the bowl of ravioli's. "That is basically calories, dipped in fat and then deep fried…in fat and sprinkled with more calories."

"So you're one on THOSE people now?" She said shoveling in another. "How'd you do it anyway?"

I shrugged. "You remember I went to Europe the summer after graduation?" She nodded so I continued. "Well, my first week there I met a tiny slip of a girl named Jane and her twin brother Alec. This was in Italy."

I paused to watch her shovel in a few more bites before she mumbled, "Mmmhmm," encouraging me to continue.

"Basically they took me under their wing and had me running until I passed out from exhaustion. They were both physical trainers and found some way to keep me motivated everyday. By the time it was time for me to leave, I had a whole new wardrobe and a whole new body."

"Well, you look good, but you shouldn't miss out on everything good just to keep it. Everyone deserves a treat every now and again." She blushed and dipped her head as she said that and I struggled to figure out what had suddenly made her so embarrassed.

"Maybe so, but I'm not willing to risk it. I don't want to go back to being THAT guy anymore."

"I liked THAT guy. Besides, you're still you." She shrugged. "Just a little lighter."

The waitress brought our meals and I changed the subject. "So you work at _American Eagle_, huh?"

"No!" She laughed. "I mean, yeah, but I don't work, WORK there. I took some time off from school after dad got shot a few months ago."

"Your dad got shot?!" I asked astounded as to why I hadn't heard that.

"Yeah, it wasn't all that big of a deal. Some drunk ass hunter got carried away and apparently my dad looks like a deer." She laughed. "It was just in his leg, but he lives alone and couldn't do a lot for himself. He's doing better now, so I hope to go back to school in the fall."

"I'm glad he's okay, but I'm sorry you had to miss out on classes."

"Meh, it's not a big deal," she shrugged, finishing off the last of her steak. "Dessert?" I shook my head. "You've got to have some tiramisu." She exclaimed and waved the waitress over to place an order.

"You enjoy your plate full of empty calories, and I'll enjoy this tasty glass of ice cold water." I replied taking a sip of said beverage for effect.

Bella snorted loudly just as the waitress brought her dessert, which caused her to snort even more loudly which also resulted in me spewing said water across the table barely missing Bella.

Bella covered her mouth and tried to calm her giggle fit, the tears glistening in her eyes made her eyes sparkle, and I found myself getting lost in them. This, of course, made me forget I was supposed to be laughing.

She stopped and cocked her head at me a devious glint in her eye. I narrowed my eyes wondering what she was up to.

"Here." She held the fork out to me. "One bite won't kill you." I shook my head and bit my lips closed. "Please, just one." She begged, and I shook my head again. "Fine."

She withdrew the delicious covered utensil and moved it towards her mouth with an exaggerated slowness. I was locked in the trance of her full pink lips, slightly parted as her tongue darted out as if to prepare for the succulent treat. My pants tightened and that was saying something considering they were so fucking baggy.

She changed direction so fast I didn't see it coming until she had stabbed me in the lip with the fork.

"Mother fuck!" I shouted, momentarily forgetting we were in public.

"Oh, shit. I'm sorry." Bella gasped as she bounced across the table, dropping the fork with a clank, her napkin in hand. "Oh, god you're bleeding. I'm so sorry." She whispered bringing the napkin up to my mouth and dabbing at the blood.

She was so close I had to close my eyes for a moment to get my bearings. All I could smell was sweet strawberries, play-doh, and yum topped off with the sweet espresso and chocolate covered ladyfingers that lingered in her breath. It was intoxicating.

When I opened my eyes again, she was a lot closer than I thought. Her nose inches from mine and she continued to dab my lip. I was pretty sure it wasn't bleeding that bad. She dropped the napkin but her tiny warm hand remained, rubbing up and down the scrap of stubble left remaining on my chin. It might have tickled if it didn't feel so damned erotic.

This was it. It was the moment I had waited nearly twenty years for. Bella Swan wanted to kiss me. I could see it in her eyes, in the way she kept darting her tongue out to moisten her pouty lips. Her expression was begging me to close the tiny gap between us and plant my lips directly on hers. Hell, my lips were practically twitching at just the thought.

My heart was pounding in my chest so fast I thought for a moment I may have a heart attack. Her sweet breath was wafting across my face, intoxicating me further. I was quite literally drunk on Bella Swan. Just the thought of her lips on mine had me thinking in circles. I was all _My Little Pony_ and _Strawberry Shortcake_, frilly bows and rainbows swirled around in my head like some sort of magic spell.

But I couldn't move. I was frozen in some sort of moral dilemma. I couldn't treat Bella the same as every other girl. I just couldn't do it. No matter how badly I wanted to kiss her, I couldn't force my body to move even a centimeter closer.

_Fuck!_

I closed my eyes and turned away from her, effectively breaking out of the trance she held me in. I shook the dreamy thoughts from my head. Apparently I had my eyes closed longer than I thought because when I opened them, Bella was tugging on my hand and pulling me from the restaurant.

"But the check." I protested.

"I already paid." She didn't even bother to turn and look at me.

"What?" I gasped. I was supposed to pay. "I was going to treat you."

"Listen, I don't need you to buy me dinner. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Besides, it was my suggestion, therefore, my treat." She turned to look at me then and by the look in her eye she was barely resisting the urge to stick her tongue out and blow a raspberry at me. _Na- na- na- boo- boo _and all that jazz.

"You want to come to the house? It's still pretty early." It was already after nine, and I was pretty tired but I wasn't ready to give her up yet.

"Sure. We could go through the yearbooks and look at old pictures of us."

I groaned. The last thing I wanted to see was _Fatty Mc Cullen_ from two years ago. But that was exactly what we ended up doing.

We laughed so hard we cried and then laughed some more. My stomach hurt so bad I thought I was going to lose my salad. We watched old birthday party videos and seeing myself like that made me thoughtful.

I may have been a little overweight, but I was happy. I wasn't so sure that I could say the same was true anymore. Sure, certain aspects of my life were better. Like my sex and social lives but that was pretty much it. I didn't laugh and smile genuinely like I used to. Everything I did now was for show.

"It's getting late." I said when I noticed it was after midnight. "You should get home."

"Or I could just stay here?" She questioned, not meeting my eyes. "You know, like the old days."

"There's always that." I said in a voice that didn't sound like my own.

Fuck, what was I saying? I couldn't sleep in the same bed with Bella. Why the hell didn't I think before I spoke? This was going to be hard, in more ways than one. _Fuckity fuck fuck_.

"Do you have something I could sleep in?" Bella asked as she stood up and walked towards the dresser.

"Yeah." Great, she had turned me into a squeaky voiced teenager again. I reached into the dresser and without looking tossed her a T-shirt. "Here." I grabbed a pair of sweats and turned towards the door.

Bella urged me to go ahead of her, and I exited the bathroom after washing my face, brushing my teeth and taking a moment to calm myself, wearing a pair of sweats and a nervous grin.

I settled into the bed with the bedside lamp on while Bella was in the bathroom. My fingers tapped both nervously and impatiently on the bed beside me. I was getting a little light headed when Bella finally opened the door. Apparently I had forgotten how to breathe.

Bella's attire didn't help my breathing problem though. The giant _Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle_ shirt that was swallowing her, left hardly anything to the imagination, it was so sheer. And with the hall light illuminating her I could see every curve of her body. Fuck this was going to be one long night.

Bella closed the door and walked around to the other side of the bed and crawled in next to me without a word. I pulled the covers up over us both and tried not to let my eyes linger too long on her bare legs.

I laid down on my back, stiff as a board. Why the hell was I so tense? I should have been jumping all over the fact that Bella was in my bed, but again I was rendered immobile by my nerves. My nerves that hadn't been an issue for me with women in over a year. I was convinced that it had to do with the clothes. New clothes made a new man. But then, wearing the same old clothes, I was the same old nervous chubby teenager that had no clue how to act around girls.

With a huge sigh, I rolled to my side and flipped off the bedside lamp, which only seemed to make the tension between us worse. I could feel every breath she took. The blanket would rise and fall with the movement of her chest. Every time her legs shifted, my skin crawled with the thought that she would move towards me. There was no way I was going to make the first move, no matter how badly my body was aching for me to.

"Edward?" Bella whispered into the darkness.

"Yeah?" I croaked as I turned back towards her.

"My feet are cold." Her voice was so low I had to strain to hear her. "Would you put your feet on mine?"

"Sure." What the hell was with the squeaky voice?

This was it. I moved my feet and tangled them with hers. My breath caught in my throat. Her feet weren't cold. This was her version of an invitation. She was asking me to touch her. Hell, she was practically begging me for it. But I didn't.

I kept my feet tangled with hers, enjoying the smoothness of her flesh against mine. My upper body was skewed at a weird angle, keeping some distance between us.

_Fuck, she's begging you for it dude. Man the fuck up and give her the ride of her life and maybe the ride of yours too. You've wanted this for how long now? Make a move, pussy._

My inner monologue taunted me, but of course I chickened out and did absolutely nothing.

"Goodnight, Bella," I whispered.

"Goodnight, Edward," Bella answered with a sigh. A deaf man could have heard the disappointment in her voice and yet I stayed still.

Without really knowing how or when, I did eventually fall asleep. The scent of strawberries, play-doh and yum surrounded me in a little bubble as I drifted off to dream land.

When I woke up I was a bit disoriented at first. The light coming in from the window was blinding me and the soft glow of my desktop was piercing my eyes in my peripherals. It took me longer than it should have to realize I was wrapped around something incredibly soft and incredibly warm.

_Bella._

I stiffened as I became aware but didn't move enough to wake Bella up. She was laying on one of my arms so I was almost pinned in position. Her scent enveloping me with its intoxicating aroma. I may or may not have buried my nose further into her hair. My other arm was draped over her hip and our feet were tangled together in the sheets.

Bella squirmed but didn't wake up. She did however manage to wake someone else up. Eddie Jr. just so happened to be nestled right smack dab in the middle of Bella's ass cheeks and he was certainly very aware of the situation he was in. And he was extremely happy to be there.

_Fuck._

I was so fucking hard it hurt and the heat coming off her backside only seemed to make it throb painfully. I was aware she didn't have pants on but it felt as if she didn't have underwear on either. I couldn't resist the urge to check.

I removed my arm from her hip as slow as I could and shifted the blanket off of my hips rather than hers. I almost shot my load up Bella's back at the sight. As it was, I was pretty certain that some half cry, half whimper sort of thing escaped my throat.

The shirt Bella was wearing had rode up and was wrapped around her waist revealing her very sheer, very red, lace thongs. Her ass was jutted out just so and the swell of her cheeks was enough to cause my cock to twitch painfully. But that wasn't the kicker.

My pants were around my knees.

Apparently I hadn't tightened the drawstring enough last night and they had shimmied down and were in a tangled mess of fabric around my knees. This left my extremely exposed, extremely hard dick wedged deliciously in between Bella's very bare ass cheeks.

_Fuck me. _

I couldn't very well have Bella waking up to me damn near ass cheek fucking her. I had to do something before she woke up. I moved my one free hand down and tried to wrestle my pants up my hips which pressed my dick harder into Bella's bare backside. I had to bite back the moronic caveman grunt that threatened to escape.

I managed to free them in time to slip them up and was able to roll away from Bella so that I was laying half on my back and half on my side. My other arm was officially useless pinned beneath Bella's weight. I couldn't move it without waking her.

I rubbed my eyes and tried to turn enough to see the clock but I couldn't. My desktop, which I know wasn't on last night when I went to sleep was flashing different pictures across the screen. I tried to focus on it but Bella stirred and I turned in time to watch her roll towards me.

"Morning." She smiled with squinty eyes and pressed her palm to my chest.

"Sleep well?" I tried to control my breathing and hoped to god I wasn't tenting the sheet with my Bella induced morning stiffy.

"Mmmhmm." She purred, her fingers playing softly in the fine hairs on my chest. That shit wasn't helping Eddie Jr. go the fuck down.

"What are you doing, Bella?" I asked in a breathless voice as her hands trailed further down my abdomen and began tracing circles around my naval. The fucker was twitching, practically waving her to come play a little lower.

Bella shrugged and continued circling my naval, her nails toying with the hairs that led to the mother fucker now effectively tenting the sheet. She opened her eyes and found mine. My breathing stopped all together as I saw the desire reflecting there. Bella shifted closer and draped one of her legs over mine.

"Bella?" I questioned, not really sure what to say. I was about point zero two seconds from flipping her over and pounding into her like a Neanderthal.

"Edward." Bella responded by pushing me completely onto my back and tossing her leg over me in a straddle position. My hands went reflexively to the bare flesh of her hips. I kneaded her soft, hot skin without any conscious decision of my own.

"What are you…" She cut me off by placing her finger over my lips and shushed me silently.

I couldn't resist anymore. I knew what she wanted. I knew sure as shit what I wanted. I caught her finger that was still lingering on my lips with my tongue and pulled it into my mouth. Fuck, she tasted even better than she smelled. Bella's head fell back as a small sigh escaped her lips.

I freed her finger and lifted my head as she lowered hers to me, capturing her lips with a growl. I licked and nibbled her soft full lips and was pleased when she opened her mouth to me and swiped my tongue with hers.

I was focusing so hard on Bella's mouth, lips and tongue that I didn't notice her hands had moved until she wrapped one around my cock.

I hissed as I slammed my head back down into the pillow and Bella shushed me yet again.

"Fuck. Is that for me, Edward?" Bella whispered and all I could do was nod.

She swiped her thumb across the sensitive head spreading the moisture that had collected there and I dug my fingers into her thighs at the delicious sensation.

I was anxious to see if I was having a similar affect on her as I snaked one hand between her thighs. She hissed and tossed her head back as my thumb made contact with her dripping panties.

"Fuck. Is that for me, Bella?" I teased.

Bella responded with a nod as she pulled her bottom lip into her mouth and gnawed on it in the sexiest way fucking known to man.

I pushed her panties to the side and swiped my thumb along her slit, enjoying the fact that she was hot and wet on my finger and that I was the cause of the noises she was making.

"Mother fuck." Bella hissed as I slid my thumb into her and curled it back out.

When Bella pulled away from me I wanted to pout until I saw the look on her face. The phrase man-eater came to mind at that point in time because Bella seriously looked like she wanted to eat me off a fucking stick.

She ripped my pants down and gave me a once over while she pumped him one good hard time. I growled low in my chest and narrowed my eyes at her for teasing me.

"Shhhh." She whispered as I watched her hold my length in one hand and move her panties to the side with the other.

"Protection?" I whispered as she lined herself up with me. The heat coming off her was enough to cause my dick to twitch against her.

"Shot." She said just before she impaled her slick heat on me.

"Shhittt." I hissed and gripped her hips to keep her from moving.

I was going to lose it if she so much as breathed. _Fucking tight ass pussy._

Bella moved slow, trying to take me all in when I released the hold on her hips. She moved with steady rhythm and her hips twisted with every descent causing a blissful sensation. I slid my hands up her shirt and cupped her breasts as they bounced in tune with her movements, her nipples pebbling at my touch.

"Oh god, Edward." Bella hissed as I wrapped one arm around her and sat up offering her a different angle. "Fuck. I'm gonna…shit." I bit one of her nipples through her shirt.

"Did you see the pretty pictures, Edward?" Rosalie chirped as she flicked the light on.

I jumped up so fast Bella fell to the floor on the opposite side of the bed. "What. The. Fuck. Rosalie?" I damn near growled as I wrapped the too thin sheet around my lower half. Bella still hadn't moved from her spot in the floor.

"The door was open." She snickered holding up her hands and turning to leave the room. "Good morning, Bella." She sang as an after thought, shutting the door behind her.

"Fuck. Are you ok?" I asked racing to the opposite side of the bed.

"I'll be ok. You, on the other hand, are going to be pissed." She responded, not looking to me but pointing at the monitor on my desk.

I walked over to the lit screen where the images had been uploaded. Bella was right, I was seething.

"Rosalie!!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. She was dead. So fucking dead. I didn't know what I was going to do to top this stunt she had pulled but it was definitely going to be something. "Rosalie!!" I shouted again.

"Yes brother." She cackled from the outside of my door.

"What the hell is this?"

"Meh, you totally deserved it." I heard her cackle as she walked away.

_Bitch, just you wait._

**Today, I found out where my $300 worth of American Eagle and Hollister clothes had disappeared to. My 16 year old sister shredded them with scissors, took pictures of it for her Myspace and said that I deserved it for being a "conformist." All her "internet friends" said it was awesome. FML.**

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**A/N: So…what did you think? Like, dislike, love it…hate it. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Good, bad, or indifferent, I love them all.**

**Press the little green button and let me know!**

**MUAWWW!!!**


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